January 24, 2013

The One Thing I Want

For the past year and a half, my Wednesday nights have found me revisiting a life stage I would’ve been fine to forget: middle school. When I signed up to volunteer with the middle school ministry at my church, I did it mostly as a way to get involved. I had absolutely no idea what I was getting into.

I lead a small group of now 8th-grade girls, and it’s been challenging for me, the nerdy, low-key, introvert, to find ways to engage this group who are so very different from me. We’re separated by personality (the first time I said I read for fun, they literally fell off their chairs laughing) and by years, and I am consistently aware that we just don’t speak the same language. But what’s really amazing is that, somehow, God has been working in me and in them over the last year and a half. I’ve grown to love and enjoy each one of them, and I don’t think they hate me, either … oddly enough.

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January 10, 2013

On Exclamation Points

“Cut out all these exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke.” -F. Scott Fitzgerald

Can I ask an honest question? What did the Period do to deserve such a bad reputation? When did everyone start thinking our old, faithful punctuation mark was so angry and sad? I’ve always found him to be a nice sort of fellow: simple, content, straightforward in the best sense. I mean, it’s not that he’s unhappy; he’s just not yelling about it, you know? I for one like the Period, but he seems to have gone out of fashion, replaced with his boisterous younger brother by people whose lives, I can only conclude, are just too exciting for him. Which leaves me, dear readers, sounding either bored or grumpy any time my proverbial pen hits the page.

Yes, anyone who has received a text message or email from me might have noticed a shocking lack of exclamation points. I say shocking because I assume most people are in a state of shock most of the time, either that or they are compulsive yellers. At least, that’s what their punctuation tells me.

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December 31, 2012

The Best of 2012

I’ve been glancing through all sorts of “Best of 2012” lists this week. And it got me thinking about what I’ve read, watched, and listened to this year. Some favorites quickly rose to the top of my head. But then I thought, why stop there? Why not just compile a list of all of my favorite things from 2012? So here it is, my friends: the almost-all-inclusive-but-subject-to-change-if-I-feel-like-it Best of 2012.

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December 18, 2012

God is with Us

“All is not well. All is broken, ruined, and wears the stain of our whoring. The earth groans, vacant eyes haunt would-be lovers, lead silences mere children—and we, clueless and helpless, fiddle as our city burns. Sons of Adam and daughters of Eve, doomed in the dark to grope about for another apple. Truth and light have run and now taunt us, always beyond our grasp, while half truths wait in shop windows for any who like things wrapped in pretty boxes.

It is not right. It is not well. How long, oh Lord, how long?”

I scribbled an earlier version of that a little over a year ago, and it feels especially poignant tonight. News of the worse kind has been ringing in our ears since Friday: 20 children murdered. I have no words, only the groan in my chest that echoes the Psalmist’s question: how long?

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December 4, 2012

The Hush of Advent

Yesterday I spent 45 minutes staring out the window, just letting my mind wander. It was glorious. I guess the idea of sitting in one place with only your own thoughts to occupy you is a nightmare to some, but I’ve learned that I need intentional times of doing literally nothing in order to live well. (I actually happen to be an expert in sitting and staring. By the way, if you’re one of the countless people who’ve thought I was staring at you, forgive me. I promise I was just lost in thought.)

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November 30, 2012

Celebrating Life

Wednesday was my birthday, and I have to tell you, I love my birthday. I usually start announcing its approach some time in early November, slyly (or not so slyly) slipping it into conversations with friends and coworkers. My family needs no reminder – my three-year-old self made sure November 28 was permanently drilled into their heads as one of the most important dates on the calendar. Let’s just say I’ve never had a birthday pass unnoticed.

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November 14, 2012

All Aboard the Downton Train

So, let’s be honest. My posts as of late have been, well, heavy. As if the weight of words and utter loneliness weren’t grave enough topics, I had to go and write about politics. I think we’re all about ready for a lighthearted interlude, and what better way to bring a smile than to write about everyone’s favorite melodrama: Downton Abbey.

I know, I know. I try to be lighthearted and the best I can come up with is a British period drama. Come on, though—it is a television show. That’s at least sort of shallow. I could’ve written about a Russian novel or the doctrine of Divine Providence, you know. Anyway….

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November 2, 2012

Some Political Considerations

I’m Erin. I’m a woman, a millennial, and an Evangelical Christian. I’m an academic and a creative. I recycle and usually buy organic. I’m passionately pro-life. I love supporting small businesses and local economies. I care deeply about social justice. I’m theologically conservative. I can’t stand corporate greed or the myth of the self-made man. I believe war is sometimes (not often) necessary and just.

Now, which political party would you put me in? Next week, if I had to cast my vote for the candidate who’s most closely aligned with my values, who would it be? The answer, I think, is neither.

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October 29, 2012

Words, Words, Words

I want the words I say to matter. I want them to be true, to be beautiful, to be weighty even in their frivolity. I want them to carry the wonder of their ability to point to the Real. I don’t want to use words haphazardly, introducing chaos instead of ordering it.

God knows we hear enough words each day. But how many of them really mean something? I’m often frustrated by the deception that passes as “marketing,” by the hollowness of pop lyrics, by the opportunism of political rhetoric. Voices fairly shouting at us from all angles, vying for our attention and blending into whir of white noise. Words, words, words. It’s enough to make you crazy.

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October 21, 2012

Gentle God

I cannot believe how gentle Jesus is. The Lord of Heaven, the one of whom the angels sing infinite “holies,” the God of thunder — not only does he speak (mercy enough), but he speaks in a still, small voice. Who would have guessed?

I’m not always a soft person: I am dry, blunt, and sometimes even harsh. I think part of me expects Jesus to give me back what I dish out — I should be able to take it, after all. And don’t I fail him every day? Don’t I succumb to silly fears? Don’t I indulge my rebel heart? My own response to my constant shortcomings is something like, “Erin, come on. Seriously? Get it together.” I know I have no excuse for my disobedience or my lack of trust in him. If I were God, I would grab me by the shoulders and shake me.

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