From 2006-2011, I was a proud employee of Delta Airlines. My mama just had her 14th anniversary with Delta, and my big brother did a stint as a ramp agent in college, so it’s about the closest thing we have to a family business. (Other than being right. And awesome.) I loved working for Delta. The airport was such a fun environment, my coworkers were AWESOME, and passengers were easy enough to deal with … most of the time. Let’s just say some people get, um, hostile when they’re traveling. It’s alright though. At some point in her life, every woman needs to be called an ugly **** **** for no apparent reason, right? Character building.

But I noticed a phenomenon that affects more than just the irates. (Did you know airline employees use irate as a noun referring to screaming passengers? As in, “Did you hear that irate over at B9?” FYI, if you make a scene in the airport, you will be laughed at in the break room.) Somehow, travelers forget altogether that the moving thing behind the counter is a person. I always felt like when I put the uniform on, I became part of the furniture. People would literally trip over me and not say a word. Here’s how it felt:

I’m not a person.
I’m a uniform. A navy blue uniform with silver accents.
(I mean “Delta blue.”)
Oh, and I have a face, but never mind that.
You don’t need to say “excuse me” as you pass,
Or look me in the eye as I 
“Thank you for flying with us!”
After all, I’m the same color as the rest of the airport.
And your iPod really needs you.
So please, hover over me while I coordinate the forces of the universe to get your flight out on time.
It’s ok, because I’m
I’m a uniform. 
And if you yell at me loud enough,
Or use the magic number of curse words,
I’ll tell you where your bag is.
And I’ll 
“Appreciate your business!”
Because, after all those miles with us, you know anything blue is just 
Part of the airport.

Disclaimer: Not all passengers are jerks, and I really do appreciate you flying Delta, especially if you happen to be a Diamond Medallion.

Moral: Be kind when you fly, and remember only God controls the weather.

#Blog Wars 2012


  1. bex - August 14, 2012 @ 9:05 am

    I love you for this.

  2. Pops - August 14, 2012 @ 3:26 pm

    laughed really, really hard…need to stop reading these at work…

  3. Kelcie - August 14, 2012 @ 6:06 pm

    hahahaha nice work capturing the joys of working in a service-related industry.

  4. Lisa - August 14, 2012 @ 9:00 pm

    Wow, I’m so impressed that you remembered my 14th anniversary! Thanks for yet another good laugh after a long day supporting the Delta blue.
    We lost a good one when you turned in your badge – glad I get to keep you in the real family business. :)

    • Erin - August 14, 2012 @ 10:04 pm

      How could I forget? Your hire date is the most important thing on my mind when I’m traveling.

  5. Joni - August 14, 2012 @ 9:45 pm

    My iPod needed me, but I stopped to read this anyway. :-) Brilliant.

  6. Berk - August 15, 2012 @ 1:24 am

    I have a theory about airports… It’s one of few places where a person has little-to-no control. You basically surrender when you walk through the glass sliding doors. You surrender to a set of seemingly ridicuous rules and regulations. You surrender a little bit of dignity when you step into the TSA line. You surrender to “just because I can” price increases, long waits, dirty bathrooms, ugly carpet, and the occasional annoying bird in the rafters (especially JFK). Some people also surrender any sense of self control, tact, and common sense. But I believe that loss of control contributes tremendously to the bad behavior.

    • Erin - August 15, 2012 @ 11:11 am

      I agree most whole-heartedly, Berk.

  7. Kendra - August 16, 2012 @ 9:51 pm

    I especially love the part about your awesome co workers. :-D and I agree– Delta = AWESOME

Comments? Questions? Spirited critiques? Let's hear 'em.