October 29, 2012

Words, Words, Words

I want the words I say to matter. I want them to be true, to be beautiful, to be weighty even in their frivolity. I want them to carry the wonder of their ability to point to the Real. I don’t want to use words haphazardly, introducing chaos instead of ordering it.

God knows we hear enough words each day. But how many of them really mean something? I’m often frustrated by the deception that passes as “marketing,” by the hollowness of pop lyrics, by the opportunism of political rhetoric. Voices fairly shouting at us from all angles, vying for our attention and blending into whir of white noise. Words, words, words. It’s enough to make you crazy.

• • •

October 21, 2012

Gentle God

I cannot believe how gentle Jesus is. The Lord of Heaven, the one of whom the angels sing infinite “holies,” the God of thunder — not only does he speak (mercy enough), but he speaks in a still, small voice. Who would have guessed?

I’m not always a soft person: I am dry, blunt, and sometimes even harsh. I think part of me expects Jesus to give me back what I dish out — I should be able to take it, after all. And don’t I fail him every day? Don’t I succumb to silly fears? Don’t I indulge my rebel heart? My own response to my constant shortcomings is something like, “Erin, come on. Seriously? Get it together.” I know I have no excuse for my disobedience or my lack of trust in him. If I were God, I would grab me by the shoulders and shake me.

• • •